Blog 2: Interpersonal conflict

A is a fourth year student doing her final year research project which lasts the entire year.
B is a Ph.D student who is also A’s mentor and guides A in her research and final report.
C is a lecturer who is both A and B’s supervisor for their final year project (FYP) and Ph.D studies respectively.

A is supposed to go directly to B when she has anything in doubt and goes to C only when B is not around.
Both B and C will be grading her performance in the laboratory and the grades make up forty percent of her final grade.

Main problem:
B uses hurtful and sarcastic words when guiding A in her experiments and A finds it stressful working with B.

B is temperamental who can be very nice yet turns nasty suddenly, thus A is very stressed since she has got to guess B’s mood when she approaches B.
B always uses hurtful and sarcastic phrases such as “you are very slow” (she nags with that phrase all day long) and “You dare to use this technique? Only experts like the lecturer can use it successfully. Even I dare not use it.”.
B complains that she is very busy, sends A for a break and then takes a break herself. B then tells C that, “A has lessons” or “A is having her lunch”, when C finds A missing.
A is worried that if C sees her around when she was supposed to be “having lessons”, C will think that she is lying and leaves a bad impression in C.
A finds it a toil working with B but does not dare to complain to C since both B and C will be grading her.

What would you do if you were A?

The figure on the right is taken from the blog of a mediator as a profession, ttp://newresolutionmediation.blogspot.com/2008_02_01_archive.html, abstracted from an article by Christopher W. Moore.

It summerises the different types of conflicts that we may face in our lives. Did you have any similar experiences?

Blog 1: Developing effective communication skills

The scientific name for human is Homo sapiens, or “wise man” in Latin (Latin homo, man; Latin sapiens, wise). Humans have a highly developed brain capable of reasoning, language, introspection, problem solving and emotion. Being social by nature, humans are able to make use of their mental capability to utilize systems of communication for self-expression and the exchange of ideas. Thus, being social animals, humans cannot escape communicating with others and it is extremely important to be able to communicate effectively. It definitely makes our life easier and more enjoyable.

In the workplace, effective communication allows me to express my ideas accurately and convincingly to my superior, but this has been a problem for me since young. I feel that face-to-face communication provides the most accurate feedback. However, speaking face-to-face to my superior makes me nervous which will tend to “impair” my ability to commute my ideas to him/her. This may interfere with the exchange of ideas between us, resulting in my superior’s doubt in my capabilities.

Recently, I was supposed to speak to my superior on a project. My mentor was not around to guide me and despite being new and lost, I tried my best in preparing the proposal to show my worth. However, due to a breakdown in communication, he did not understand my proposal and thought I was incompetent. My effort was downplayed and it affected my job morale and confidence. Being new, I was in no position to complain and could only swallow the grievances. It is thus crucial to know how to voice one’s discontent and yet protecting one’s interest (Perhaps in a politically correct manner?).

Being born in a conservative family, I have acquired the bad habit of keeping things to myself and not voicing my opinions. I am usually the listener and observer in life. In the workplace, emphasis has been placed on being a good speaker and much less on a good listener. However, I feel that being a good listener is equally essential. A nonverbal cue as insignificant as a nod given to a friend in times of need is an act of great encouragement. Through this course, I hope to learn to become a better listener and speaker. I hope to walk out of my comfort zone and gain confidence in communicating with others.

The following diagram sums up the concepts in communication skills:

Prologue

A module offered in NUS (National University of Singapore),
ES2007S Professional Communication: Principles & Practice...
The main aim of the course is to become an effective communicator in various social settings, but most especially, in the workplace.

This blog serves as a medium to share my ideas that developed in the course with my classmates, and of course to interact with them.
Are you thinking what I'm thinking?